Improv comedy uses a great expression that, in only two simple words expresses something profoundly positive. It’s so important to a friend of ours that she had “yes, and” tattooed on her wrist. My interpretation is this:
When we tell someone “no…”, or even “yes, but…” we are negating their story and replacing it with ours. We are telling them they are wrong and we are right. We are shaming them.
When we say “yes, and…” we are validating, participating in, and adding to their story. We are celebrating what they bring to the conversation and we are joining them. We are keeping their momentum going. We are respectfully considering their role in our relationship.
You can still find ways to disagree with someone without shaming them or directly pointing out they are wrong. This builds stronger relationships through cooperation and trust.
#Empathy #EQ #Kindness #Classy
Here’s more:
https://sashadichter.com/2019/02/05/thats-right/
https://www.fastcompany.com/3024535/yes-and-improv-techniques-to-make-you-a-better-bossArticle here
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yes,_and…
https://medium.com/improv4/saying-yes-and-a-principle-for-improv-business-life-fd050bccf7e3
Darcy and I have been trying this and yes, when we use it the conversation does stay a lot more positive.. Thus, it’s like any habit and does require a lot of intention to make it work but the results are surprisingly positive.. Thx
When we lived in Australia for all of 2009 we traveled a good deal, had many experiences and met people by saying YES to everything we could. One time in particular we were taking a picture of a vineyard in South Australia and the owner was just bringing in her recycling bin from the curb, she asked if we wanted to come up to the deck for a better view and we said Yes so we drove up the driveway and spent 3 hours with the couple, shared their wine, collected eggs from the chicken, and built memories for the family. We still try to live by this way of being and encourage our kids to be open to new things, take risks, and say YES
I love that both comments on this blog gave a new way to think of the word yes- to accept what life has in store for us. Yes!!