Most of us have a tendency to be defensive. If a situation appears to make us look bad, we often are quick to find evidence that we are innocent and still worthy of their respect. We want others to know, and recognize, that we are competent.
An example of this is when you bring something up that you previously addressed and your response is “like I said….” or “as I put in my email yesterday….”. One justification for this response might be that you feel bad for repeating a message and wasting everyone’s time. My hunch is that the majority of this response is more “why are THEY wasting our time and making it seem like I haven’t already done my job. I did my job! This issue is resolved let’s please move on to all the other busy work we have in front of us!”
Ironically, in attempting to retain your respect and dignity, you end up losing it by appearing as if you are primarily concerned with your own standing rather than the others around you.
To the person who brought the issue back up, it suggests “why the hell are you saying this? This has already been addressed! What’s wrong with you?!”
And to others listening it says “I might say this to you some day so don’t mess with me”.
All around the room, this is a relationship withdrawal from the emotional bank account.
This response presumptuously assumes that 1) you understood exactly what the person is now bringing back up 2) that person understood exactly what you were previously saying and 3) you had previously communicated in such a clear way that no-one should have misunderstood and has no right to bring the issue back up again. What if you misinterpreted what the person was now saying or missed a nuance in the question that presented a new perspective? Why not instead spend your energy searching for how this case is different than the prior, rather than assuming it’s exactly the same?
This could actually turn into an emotional deposit if you show the same amount of respect (the same type of respect you were defending in yourself!) to that person by assuming they have a good point that you just don’t understand yet.
hope our kids read this! 
I’m getting caught up with your posts, they are great, keep it up. Regarding this one, did you write this specifically for me? I’ve always been terrible at being patient and empathetic while re-explaining something (you know that!). I’ve recently realized that while I believe my time is ultra-valuable to me, there are people in the world that are curing cancer, managing a pandemic, fighting fires – THEIR time is ultra valuable. I am just selfish. I need to retain that perspective and build my emotional bank account within my little sphere.
Just saw this! Glad you are participating in the discussion. And did I write this with you in mind? No comment. 🤣