In “The Four Agreements” and also “The Fifth Agreement”, Don Miguel Ruiz describes how we are all making our own movies. This metaphor has sparked a helpful understanding for me.

To summarize… you are the writer, director, producer, and star of your own movie. I play a role in your movie. Likewise, I am making my own movie in which I am the writer, director, producer, and star… and you play a major role in my movie.

When you and I interact, you will interpret any given situation through the lens that was created via your life experience. In observing the facts of what transpired, you might conclude that I am a big jerk. I, on the other hand, might conclude that my actions were thoughtful, loving, and kind.

I used to think there is only one truth… and that I have to argue for what I see as my version of that truth (I’m not a jerk!!). I love this idea of a movie because now I can accept that your movie can be different than mine. I might be creating an adventure movie while you are creating a drama. I don’t have to argue with you about your movie because I know it isn’t a shared movie that we are creating together. I don’t need to defend my honor and convince you that I shouldn’t be cast as that kind of character. There is no one single truth. There are only our perceptions of those facts that result in our own opinions that become our personal truth.

This doesn’t mean we should be callous towards the opinion they have about our movie. We need people to play major roles in our movie. If we disrespect their points of view, they could storm off the set of our movie production or refuse to play the role we were intending them to play. Conversely, if we listen carefully, they can teach us lessons we want to incorporate into our script. If we communicate well, perhaps we each can play the intended role that each of us desires for our own movie script.

This metaphor helps me accept others for their beliefs and opinions that might be different than mine. This includes political, religious, business, and relationship opinions. You are entitled to your opinion and perception. And I am entitled to mine. And we don’t have to reconcile them both. So now I can sit and listen calmly while you describe your movie. And I hope you then ask me about the movie I’m making.

This is a variation on the theme of my former post about “the old lady young lady” picture. We see the same facts and develop different opinions (truths) about those facts. And that’s ok.

Let’s apply this to politics. We can assume that “the other side” has its own reasons to make its movie. They are not wrong. We just don’t agree on what the truth should be. And we don’t have to agree because there is no single movie to agree on. There is no one truth – there is only our perception of the truth inside the movie were are making for ourselves. If we do everything we can to support our views, and society still votes to support the other side, then we must accept the setback and hope for change in the future. But to stay mad about the movie that others are making is only choosing to fill ourselves with toxicity that can impact our health and relationships.

Most of us adults are afraid, too. Fear is universal, it’s not just in you. You are not alone. Even your parents are afraid of things. We were afraid as children but the things we fear change over time. But always, there is fear. It’s actually a necessary feeling that we need in our lives. It can teach us to understand ourselves if we listen carefully.

It’s what you do with that fear that can determine the course of your life. Will you recognize it, yet not let it get in your way? Will you use it as an opportunity to learn? Will you let it prevent you from doing what you want to do, and being who you want to be? You are more powerful than you know. You have a choice. Don’t ignore it. Don’t be ashamed of it. Don’t run away from it. Try to figure out what it’s telling you.